empallin | there is something wrong here no denying 004

over the course of several days my little adventure was speecifically not covered by one of my closeest friends,

mama2jude
and one, and two, and three, and four.
there was one email that was suppose to go to her but didn't. not that it would have made that much sense any way. it was logins and passwords to all my accounts. most of them at the very least. there were two problems with it. it got sent to another close friend and all of the passwords were wrong. i gave out my phone number wrong to several people as well. but the above peerson was pretty much left out of the loop because no one thought to talk to her. because of the above post plus a non-public thread at rebal mamas there were several discussions about me that i am at best only halfway aware of. the following sent to

mama2jude me by is example of such...

This is the PM feygrrl sent me on 2/1 (in response to a post I made that "I
think my friend is going to kill himself"):
I wanted to PM you instead of posting since I know the person you're talking
about. He's on my friends list and he's on mine so I kind of wondered about
his last LJ entry. You do everything you humanly can to help him. I'm sorry
you're going through this and know how much he means to you. Keep us all
posted, I'd really like to know how he's doing. Mainly just because I hurt
when people I'm familiar with are hurting. I hope you don't mind me asking
for updates.
xo
feygrrl

what that means is there is one more person who will be getting favors from me and have my respect, care and concern until it is no longer wanted. and it's another woman. seems like very few men can tolerate me, or vice versa. i am just heart broken over that fact. maybe it is because i was raised around four girls.

for those who are curious...
--i got was finally able to get my scripts filled but do not like the results.
--the image up top is about a year old. keep saying i'm gonna use it on my site but have yet to put it there. seems to fit here just as well.
--i am just about fininshed with what i am going to say about this mess but i know it is not finished.