totally jacked up

[empallin]

you sit there with your bottle
hours by yourself
listening to those songs
about fucking up
and getting fucked over
trying not to call her
and tell her how bad she hurt you
you sit there with your bottle
hours by yourself
thinking about the years
was it 5 or 25
you spent chasing that dream
and dreaming about the end
curled up in each other arms
you sit there with your bottle
hours by yourself
because no one needs to see you
screaming and crying
trying not to call her
to tell her how you really feel
and what a bitch she really is
you sit there with you bottle
hours by yourself
trying to convince yourself
that you will survive
even though you lost that last bit of hope
that always made you feel alive
and that you dont still love her
more than you hate her