![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
empallinnot really wanting sympathy so much as a way to deal with it. but too not really wanting to discuss it so i will try to answer any possible questions so you dont have to ask. however if i missed something do feel free to ask and eventually i will answer. i am cutting details left and right on this but the basics are all you need. and even that is more than you will want. eh maybe.
when i was in fouth/fifth grade this organization that we were in had it international meeting in winnipeg. i was excited because i was leaving the country for the first time. and i got to get away from the torment of certain classmates. and my parents wernt there. my older sister was as well as the father and daughter from what amounts to our co-family. i always liked to travel. the one draw back was that i liked it so much i could rarely sleep in a moving car. and a bus trip this long was no different. i had to have a window seat. there was so much to see. if only for a few seconds. on the extremely long bus trip i got maybe a couple of hours of sleep. i had to see everything i could.
because of that i crashed when we got to the hotel room. the had the rooms divided up boys and girls in different rooms and one or two adults depending on space available. well the adults got up early to see about adult morning convention things. thus leaving the kids to get ready unattended. because of me not sleeping on the bus i was not wanting to wake up when the morning came. so the boys in the room i was in and the one next door decided the would wake me up with belts. of the five or six in the room it was the three highshoolers that were the ones doing the actual hitting. getting progressivly harder as the went on. at some point i started screaming for help and for them to stop. at the point that i covered my head with the pillow to try to protect it i know the screaming became useless. shortly there after they started using the buckles.
they finally stopped when they actually started to think they might get in trouble for doing it. i took advantage of the pause to hop out of bed and put my pants on. and ran out into the hallway. i was sitting on some stairs crying when an adult walked up and asked me if i was ok. i was all set to tell everything but fate was not so kind. as she walked up i had just realized my pants were ripped. so all i said was 'my pants are ripped' to this she responded with some passive 'it will be ok' response and went on. [dead space in the memory]
i basically went through the motions for the rest of the trip. the following night i got very little sleep. first one up and out of the room. the night after was the bus ride home. and i slept almost the entire ride. looking back i am and am not surprised that no one saw any bruises. or noticed any behaviour changes.
i guess i never told anyone about this because in talking to my parents about it very recently they were both unaware of anything like this happening. prior to this happening i had tried being a normal kid. to fit in. we were part of this organization. i went to church every sunday. had a paper route. was in cub scouts. after this i guess i gave up trying. i had enough scars and injuries from trying so why even try. i wa never a normal kid so just stick me in a corner and leave me the fuck alone.
when i was in fouth/fifth grade this organization that we were in had it international meeting in winnipeg. i was excited because i was leaving the country for the first time. and i got to get away from the torment of certain classmates. and my parents wernt there. my older sister was as well as the father and daughter from what amounts to our co-family. i always liked to travel. the one draw back was that i liked it so much i could rarely sleep in a moving car. and a bus trip this long was no different. i had to have a window seat. there was so much to see. if only for a few seconds. on the extremely long bus trip i got maybe a couple of hours of sleep. i had to see everything i could.
because of that i crashed when we got to the hotel room. the had the rooms divided up boys and girls in different rooms and one or two adults depending on space available. well the adults got up early to see about adult morning convention things. thus leaving the kids to get ready unattended. because of me not sleeping on the bus i was not wanting to wake up when the morning came. so the boys in the room i was in and the one next door decided the would wake me up with belts. of the five or six in the room it was the three highshoolers that were the ones doing the actual hitting. getting progressivly harder as the went on. at some point i started screaming for help and for them to stop. at the point that i covered my head with the pillow to try to protect it i know the screaming became useless. shortly there after they started using the buckles.
they finally stopped when they actually started to think they might get in trouble for doing it. i took advantage of the pause to hop out of bed and put my pants on. and ran out into the hallway. i was sitting on some stairs crying when an adult walked up and asked me if i was ok. i was all set to tell everything but fate was not so kind. as she walked up i had just realized my pants were ripped. so all i said was 'my pants are ripped' to this she responded with some passive 'it will be ok' response and went on. [dead space in the memory]
i basically went through the motions for the rest of the trip. the following night i got very little sleep. first one up and out of the room. the night after was the bus ride home. and i slept almost the entire ride. looking back i am and am not surprised that no one saw any bruises. or noticed any behaviour changes.
i guess i never told anyone about this because in talking to my parents about it very recently they were both unaware of anything like this happening. prior to this happening i had tried being a normal kid. to fit in. we were part of this organization. i went to church every sunday. had a paper route. was in cub scouts. after this i guess i gave up trying. i had enough scars and injuries from trying so why even try. i wa never a normal kid so just stick me in a corner and leave me the fuck alone.
