my room is comfortably small with rubber lining the walls and there's someone always calling my name

r.c.'s comments

i offer you a tip of the hat
simply for beating me
in a simple argument
i have won
a million times over
you heard me out
but with a few questions
sharpened to a point
you pinned it all
flat against the ground
you are the best man
a friend could have
groomed to perfection
still able to silence
all the psycho beasts

cant shake the devils hand and say youre only kidding

from Dave's Joke List (funny-stuff@mho.com...

Top Ten Pirate Pickup Lines

10. Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin', I'm 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pirate pickup line is:
1. Prepare to be boarded!


Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)

They don't call me Long John because my head is so big.
You're drinking a Salty Dog? How'd you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I've sailed the seven seas, and you're the sleekest schooner I've ever sighted.
That's the finest pirate booty I've ever laid eyes on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
That's some treasure chest you've got there.

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

yeah i'm posting this way later then when most people wanted to see it but you can kiss my fat white hairy black ass. twice.


You are The Cap'n!
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

these cats with holy jeans dirty hair and titty rings say whats your scene man

swiped from mama2jude who got it from...:

Instructions: Take one list of authors, remove those whose efforts do not grace your shelves and bring the list up to ten by adding some more that do. Bold indicates newly-added authors.

Neil Gaiman
Douglas Adams
William Shakespeare
China Mieville
Barbara Kingsolver
Douglas Coupland
Henry Rollins
Roddy Doyle
Ariel Gore
Poppy Z. Brite
Anton LeVey
Robert Anton Wilson
Ann Rule
Soren Kierkegaard
Charles Bukowski
Thomas Pynchon

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Outdoor Cleaning Tip #001 - Stick It In Your Ice Hole
if you know a snow storm is coming cover your wind shield with a sheet or one of those huge industrial trash bags. the sheet stands a better chance of being reuseable but you run the chance of ruining it. of course now would be a good time to pick one up at a thrift store. i suggest the silk ones just so you look all fancy and stuff. the garbage bag is more water proof but you have to cut it dow the sides so that it stetches across your windshield. but hey if you rip it it is easy to replace. once you figure out what you are going to use spead in across your windshield and then shove the ends in the door and shut the doors on it. or you could just leave you doors wide open. that would be all kinds of fun. you can also do your back window like this. the purpose of all this work is so that you don't have to spend an hour scraoping ice when you are already late for work and you're felling lazy as hell again.

Outdoor Cleaning Tip #002 - that just blows
if you forgot to cover your windshield before that two feet of snow arrived you can always use a leaf blower to get rid of the snow. i know i should not have to say this but you do run a risk of hurting or killing yourself doing this especially if you decide to use an electric one. it is a lot faster and safer to use a shovel but if you have physical problems that limit you movement it will get you through. if the snow has been walked or driven or fallen on you will have great difficulty in movig this way. that is why it is called a leaf blower. it has less power. the best part is that when you do this at 7:00am it annoys the crap out of your douchebag neighbors. if you really feel lazy go grab the chair out of their parking space. still you are doing this at your own risk.

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free and legal* mp3 downloads: Circle One Records

music trivia question: who is the father to Shelton Williams?

*but that is not to say it is nessecarily good or bad