when i get home to you i'll find the things that you do will make me feel alright

ok i have still be thinking about the question feygrrl posed to me that i answered in this post. but then sleepsleep made a friends post about getting her new hearing aids. in which she said..

"When I was walking out of the hospital today I realized that I was lucky to have a hearing loss.. if I did not have the choice of whether or not to wear my hearing aids I would be crawling out of my skin.. sensory overload. Maybe normal hearing people can tune it out, but I do not think normal hearing bipolars can tune it out. Which is why bipolars tend to freak out on their neighbors, etc. etc. etc. NOISE! NOISE! NOISE"

...and that made me start thinking that in the end that may be the reason that i always have the music going. it drowns out most of the surprise everyday noises. i can lose my self in the lyrics and forget everything else. and sure i might be a little anal* retentive about my music or something but most of the time it is just background noise. it's only on very bad days were every song has to be one i know and like. i guess it really is a self defense mechanism. on my worst days i fall back on the things i really know. and maybe even get some satisfaction out of them.

i am sure i will have more to add on this question. it was something i had never really considered. sure i could just blow it off and act like i don't care. it's not my nature to do that. i don't understand it so i have to take it apart from every angle until i do. and the figure out what the answere is from there.


unrelated quote from my mother: ask your dad about the kerosene

(no subject)

Enneagram Test Results

type	score	summary
4	14	You desire understanding, for people to appreciate your uniqueness. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of understanding in your life experience. Problem - people only understand what is familiar, if you exist outside the norms, few will ever understand you.
6	13	You desire loyalty, for people to stand by you. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of loyalty in your life experience. Problem - even among those close, rifts happen and loyalty based on need isn't entirely genuine.
8	9	You desire power, for people to respect your strength. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of control in your life experience. Problem - you can't control everyone no matter how powerful you are.
1	8	You desire perfection, for everyone to appreciate you. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of order in your life experience. Problem - it is impossible to have everyone agree with you no matter what views or roles you adopt.
3	8	You desire acclaim, for people take note of your achievements. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of praise in your life experience. Problem - you can't win everyone's esteem no matter what you achieve.
5	8	You desire reason, to make sense of things. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of reason in your life experience. Problem - you can drain yourself trying to figure things out so be attentive to your physical health.
7	7	You desire fun, to not be overcome with unhappiness. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of fun in your life experience. Problem - it is impossible to have fun 24/7 and the need for it will force you to run from problems instead of dealing with them.
9	7	You desire peace, for everyone to get along. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of peace in your life experience. Problem - there is always a certain amount of conflict in the world and some level of it is healthy.
2	3	You desire love, for everyone to care for you. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of genuine care in your life experience. Problem - it is impossible to get everyone to care about you no matter what you do.

Your main personality is Type 4