ain't got no shame nobody knows my name

a few more pulls from old notebooks. images and writings. i told myself i would do this but now i am wondering why. it's embarrassing and painful. all of this dates back to 1990 or 1991. since i am choosing them, it is basically the best of the worst. typing them out there are a lot of changes that i would like to make but figured it was just best to leave them alone. i did make one change, but that was a matter of adding a title to one of them. basically for easy reference.

eight arguments for me to be ashamed



Documentation Of Insanity
the fires of hell
burn inside my heart
when i reach for love
and end grinded in the wheel
all i long for is the
satisfaction of only her
yet no action is wise
always inappropriate
my thought erase each
other in mass confusion
fear runs ramped
is it all over?
are you going to leave?
do i have a chance?
a chance to scrape corners
for leftovers to save
scraping for eternity
to keep it from dying



Grey (D____)
in a convience store parking lot
i started on the pathway of my life
learning what makes a man go crazy
head first in to harsh realities
no more time for looking back
maybe someday - maybe never
still too many questions about now
just keep running with out the flowers
it's been too easy too many times
and oh what fools simplicity makes

[this actually relates to the first story i put up here. if you want to see the inspiration for this,]



Sulking Machine
when will the pain end?
it's immature to sulk in a corner
that's what got me here
beating my head against a wall
trying to knock the pain out
i don't want sympathy
just that old sign of compassion
yell all of your points at me
but as time goes by
you'll have a harder time getting through
and i'll tell you that's not what i want
i want to climb into your harms
i want to live happily ever after



Parking Lots And Alleyways
these are your friends in youth. You
can grow up in parking lots. you can
discover the secrets of the world in
an alleyway. you can learn about life
you can learn about love. you can learn
about alcohol. you can't get into places
because you're too young. so you sit
in the parking lot with your friends
or you make friends. someone
knows someone else and you are there
the world at your finger tips. this is
the door to adulthood and it seems
so exciting. all the fun parts in your hand.
but you out grow the parking lots and
alleys to bars and bedrooms and jails.