empallin | i hope that there's more time for me then this

then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid
why do people care about me? it is just going to make matters worse for the wear. I have nothing to offer and it is so much safer to keep you distance. it will just be easier when it's taken care of. it's an emotional life support. hoping someday I wil come out of it. it is never going to happen. it hurts too much and as hard as it is to live with the pain I do not think I could live with out it. get me to the next day just to see what happens. I want to why it all has to be like this. I want to make it easier. On you. On me. I am broken and cannot be fixed. that is the best I can offer. that is the only thing i can offer. it is not that I do not care how people feel. it's that I cannot understand it. i am better off alone. damage control. i am so fucked up. and getting dumber by the day.

Blink 182
Adams Song

I never thought, I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'dve known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didnt think enough
Im too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when Im gone...

I never conquered, When you came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldnt wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, Id survived
I couldn't wait til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months Ill be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, When you came
Tomorrow held such better days
Days when I can still felt alive
When I cant wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I cant wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone.....

Lilybelle
The Geraldine Fibbers

In the dark she is rocking,
not to records but to voices in her head.
Lilybelle Lilybelle Lilybelle hot as hell.
3am and it feels just like high noon in her head, come to bed,
when the air cools down I'm gonna skate away.
I'm gonna fly so far I'm gonna kiss that star.

(Get off of that trip) Don't touch it baby.
(Get off of that trip) You'll burn your pretty fingers,
(Get off of that trip) You'll soil your cherry hands.
(Get off of that trip) Seven thousand holes to blow through.

Scissors and paper
and other sharp things
you can chew on that for a while
you're a trained dog girl
you got house and a heart of gold
won't you try to forget
won't you let me
won't you let me
go to sleep
close your eyes
pull the plug
shut it down
kill the lights
shut it up
shut it up
let your head go under
let your head go under
let your head go under
to nothing nothing nothing nothing girl.

(Get off of that trip) Don't touch it baby.
(Get off of that trip) You'll burn your pretty fingers,
(Get off of that trip) You'll soil your cherry hands.
(Get off of that trip) Seven thousand holes to blow through.

There are songbirds and sweet things where angels bare wings
and bask in the afterglow of good deeds done by tendersouls,
but I in my wretched state, fat from years of sucking hate,
can never scrape the dirt off, can never shake the other side.
It hides in holes behind my eyes.