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empallinmeme and the island of misfit toys
stolen from
mama2jude who ripped it from...etc
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
egg nog all the way.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
no he has his endentured servants do it
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
colored but not multis. they look goofy and white usually does look festive enough
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
no but i am hung like a missle. no youre right more like a toe is right. and btw i have always thought it was silly/stupid that mistletoe is oklahomas stake flower.
5. When do you put your decorations up?
theoretically on black friday or by dec 1 but they dont get turned on until dec 1 and get added to as needed.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
yams what they yams. of the stuffing if made right
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
getting a magic kit in the er waiting room after getting stiches in my chin when i tripped over my younger sister highchair and hitting the floor. via the china plate between my chin and the floor. but the best part was either my mom tellin me to shut up on the cab ride to the er because everytime i said something blood squirted. or my sisters and cousins being told to get the hell out of the room where i was sleeping it off and to leave my magic kit alone. now! there was also the fact that this came from some charity that was doing a lite night xmess eve delivery and the guy stopped and asked me which game on his dolly full i wanted. and i wanted the magic kit. second up from the bottom.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
when i went to get a drink of water in third grade
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
one. just one. and its a free pic except for any big ones. always have.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
depends on the year and the mood. this year it is a white tree with white black and silver decor.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
live by it. but driving on it is one more reason why people suck.
12. Can you ice skate?
yes i can fall on my ass very well. so uh no not really.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
in elementry school it was a work bench with a pegboard that held real working toys. in highschool it was a brother type writter that turned out not to be such. you see it did not work 100% correctly and when i called the company they said suchandsuch model did not exist and on top of that all of their machines were black and only black. and the one i had/have was white. so i fixed myself since i had no warranty to void. and this is why it is a bad thing if you have a white brother. and a broke one is worse.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
giving and one more reason to see fanily. reminds me i need to get a mouth harp for my grandfathers gravesite.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
a pumpkin pie or two. not kidding.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
not going to church.
17. What tops your tree?
just about anything. yeah my trees always bottom.
18. Which do you prefer; giving or receiving?
giving. i mean yeah i like to receive and all but giving is best. esp if i have access to confetti. :-X
19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
the one about the fucking pie? the threesome with parson brown? the one about don wenows gay apparel? nope. christmas wrapping by the waitresses with weird als christmas at ground zero in a very close second.
20. Candy Canes?
sux0rz
10 times a double crossing meme
i was assigned a big steaming s by
anarkallisti with which i have to do ten positive and ten negative. and lemme know if you want a letter.
the good-
001] slack. live it to the end pink boy.
002] sharpies. because as we all know thy kick ass. even as eyebrows apparently
003] snoogins, oh come on who doesnt
004] shapely shes. legs and lips. curves and dips.
005] sawed off. shotgun. a foot and a half of unregistered steele.
006] scars. they always interest me. well more the stories of how they got there. and facial scars are the best. gee i wonder if this has something to do with the fact that the 3 times i got stiches it was always above the neck.
007] severe head trauma packs an awsome buzz
008] serial killers vs spree killers. i like reading about them and that is it.
009] sign language. lauguages have always interested be but that one is better that most because it is not a bunch of grunts.
010] she by whom all others arre judged
the bad-
001] safety first. just never has worked for me.
002] spellcheck. just never works well enough for me an i refuse to let the words get in the way of the idea.
003] silence is a monster that will destroy my mind
004] syncope. cause i fall down go boom
005] simple partial seizures that turn into complex ones
006] seizures in general
007] sex. its messy and i have just had too many bad expeinces. things that couldnt happen with sex in the way.
008] spanish bimbos on the nile. best movie ever.
009] skiing off the curb. not fun.
010] self.
and yeah i know its your mother.
First sentence of the first post you made each month in 2006 stolen frommama2jude who ripped it from...etc
jan06: Over 46,000 pieces of allin float on every square mile of ocean! [first post was an image. and this one was an autopoll]
feb06: taken a week ago in galveston texas.
mar06: i have been looking for one of these for years and very recently found them at family dollar.
apr06: bouncybouncybouncywallthud sorryaboutthat wrapdammitwrap
may06: file under: just smile and nod
jun06: i answered honestly but still this is what it came up with
jul06: from a damn fine band...
aug06: i am going out for a bit but please leave a message and i will get back to you when i get home
sep06: the good
oct06: ok these are the bands i have seen live that i can remember
nov06: [blank post]
dec06: i was going to write this big long entry but i dont feel like working on it and so instead i will post a completely useless post
five things that you think folks in your audience don't know about you. stolen fromanarkallisti who ripped it from...etc.
1] i am shy to a fault
2] i have no desire to talk to my mother
3] i want to live in boston again
4] i was raised baptist
5] my life goal is 85% scar tissue. signs of life as they are.
stolen from
_scarlet_ibis_ who ripped it from...etc
_scarlet_ibis_
1. What's the most non-festive and possibly scandalous thing you've ever done on Christmas or Christmas Eve?
got dumped
2. While having sex, have you ever fantasized that you were doin' it with someone else? Who?
hot in a very long time. and several people
3. If you were famous, what is it about you that would fascinate the tabloids? Feel free to throw some possible tabloid headlines about yourself out there.
fits of depression and mania
4. What's the most unlikely thing/person/situation that's ever aroused you sexually?
can i get back to you on that one?
5. If you had a super power that you sometimes used for evil, or at least a bit of mischief, what would that power be and what would you do with it?
invisiblity. i would just sit there and watch people
6. Think of the sexiest person alive, in your opinion. Who is that person and would you cheat on your current partner with them if given the chance? (If you are without a partner at the moment, think of your last partner.)
i shall not say who and though i would like to say not i cant for sure. but it would never happen anyway so there are no worries. and most certianly not for a one night stand
7. If you didn't have to worry about your boss's opinion, your family's opinion or society's opinion, what would you change about your appearance?
i dont but it requires effort so nothing.
8. What's the most vindictive thing you've ever done?
tough call but i really much prefer spite. and i am sure there are many many things but i am going blank.
9. If you were given a year to live, what would you do differently that you wouldn't have done otherwise?
shot myself in the head? you mother? your father? mr ed?
10. If you didn't have to worry about your weight and poor health, what sorts of foods would you choose to eat daily?
i dont so the same things i do now.
end of the year meme stolen frommama2jude who ripped it from...etc
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
went to branson mo. toured a cave.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
my resolution is always not to make any resolution.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
uhh i do not recall
4. Did anyone close to you die?
kinda. family
5. What countries did you visit?
nada nunca
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
happiness. you know...a warm gun.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
hellifiknow
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
same as ever. nothing.
9. What was your biggest failure?
existance. not a joke.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
"when you feel good you feel nothing" - r buckminster fuller
11. What was the best thing you bought?
i dont know. maybe my ears are on backwards.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
your mothers. and yours are well.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my mother
14. Where did most of your money go?
diet coke, djarm specials, petrol
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
i dont think i ever get that excited about anything
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
that one that that one group did that is on such and such album
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? yes always
ii. thinner or fatter? uhhh about 50 pounds lighter but still about 230 too heavy
iii. richer or poorer? my fat ass is broke
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
pretty much everything
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
whinning and complaining and bitching and moaning
20. How will you be spending Christmas/New Years?
with family/ sitting at home for amatuer night
21. Which LJ people did you meet this year?
nat
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
i take the fourth and a fifth to go with it
23. How many one-night stands?
nil
24. What was your favorite TV program?
dr g, forensic files etc
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes. yes i do
26. What was the best book you read?
dont know really.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
the oh johnny girls, a broke heart pro
28. What did you want and get?
a new camera after my old one developed a bad case of pepsi syndrome type sprite
29. What did you want and not get?
a big fucking gun
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
spanish bimbos on the nile
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i have no recollection of that and 35 contrary to what you may have been led to believe
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
well nookie
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
fashion? concept? hmmm stuff i like
34. What kept you sane?
LMFAO. pr0n
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
zooey deschanel (almost famous, elf, hitchhickers guide), megan mullally (risky business, will & grace, the megan mullally show)
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the war on bush and dick
37. Who did you miss?
everyone. really.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
barb and nat
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
my mother is a fucking idiot
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"my room is such a pig sty my floor has never been swept but ive got a fuck off attitude and thats something that should be kept"
stolen from
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
egg nog all the way.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
no he has his endentured servants do it
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
colored but not multis. they look goofy and white usually does look festive enough
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
no but i am hung like a missle. no youre right more like a toe is right. and btw i have always thought it was silly/stupid that mistletoe is oklahomas stake flower.
5. When do you put your decorations up?
theoretically on black friday or by dec 1 but they dont get turned on until dec 1 and get added to as needed.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
yams what they yams. of the stuffing if made right
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
getting a magic kit in the er waiting room after getting stiches in my chin when i tripped over my younger sister highchair and hitting the floor. via the china plate between my chin and the floor. but the best part was either my mom tellin me to shut up on the cab ride to the er because everytime i said something blood squirted. or my sisters and cousins being told to get the hell out of the room where i was sleeping it off and to leave my magic kit alone. now! there was also the fact that this came from some charity that was doing a lite night xmess eve delivery and the guy stopped and asked me which game on his dolly full i wanted. and i wanted the magic kit. second up from the bottom.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
when i went to get a drink of water in third grade
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
one. just one. and its a free pic except for any big ones. always have.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
depends on the year and the mood. this year it is a white tree with white black and silver decor.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
live by it. but driving on it is one more reason why people suck.
12. Can you ice skate?
yes i can fall on my ass very well. so uh no not really.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
in elementry school it was a work bench with a pegboard that held real working toys. in highschool it was a brother type writter that turned out not to be such. you see it did not work 100% correctly and when i called the company they said suchandsuch model did not exist and on top of that all of their machines were black and only black. and the one i had/have was white. so i fixed myself since i had no warranty to void. and this is why it is a bad thing if you have a white brother. and a broke one is worse.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
giving and one more reason to see fanily. reminds me i need to get a mouth harp for my grandfathers gravesite.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
a pumpkin pie or two. not kidding.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
not going to church.
17. What tops your tree?
just about anything. yeah my trees always bottom.
18. Which do you prefer; giving or receiving?
giving. i mean yeah i like to receive and all but giving is best. esp if i have access to confetti. :-X
19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
the one about the fucking pie? the threesome with parson brown? the one about don wenows gay apparel? nope. christmas wrapping by the waitresses with weird als christmas at ground zero in a very close second.
20. Candy Canes?
sux0rz
10 times a double crossing meme
i was assigned a big steaming s by
the good-
001] slack. live it to the end pink boy.
002] sharpies. because as we all know thy kick ass. even as eyebrows apparently
003] snoogins, oh come on who doesnt
004] shapely shes. legs and lips. curves and dips.
005] sawed off. shotgun. a foot and a half of unregistered steele.
006] scars. they always interest me. well more the stories of how they got there. and facial scars are the best. gee i wonder if this has something to do with the fact that the 3 times i got stiches it was always above the neck.
007] severe head trauma packs an awsome buzz
008] serial killers vs spree killers. i like reading about them and that is it.
009] sign language. lauguages have always interested be but that one is better that most because it is not a bunch of grunts.
010] she by whom all others arre judged
the bad-
001] safety first. just never has worked for me.
002] spellcheck. just never works well enough for me an i refuse to let the words get in the way of the idea.
003] silence is a monster that will destroy my mind
004] syncope. cause i fall down go boom
005] simple partial seizures that turn into complex ones
006] seizures in general
007] sex. its messy and i have just had too many bad expeinces. things that couldnt happen with sex in the way.
008] spanish bimbos on the nile. best movie ever.
009] skiing off the curb. not fun.
010] self.
and yeah i know its your mother.
First sentence of the first post you made each month in 2006 stolen from
jan06: Over 46,000 pieces of allin float on every square mile of ocean! [first post was an image. and this one was an autopoll]
feb06: taken a week ago in galveston texas.
mar06: i have been looking for one of these for years and very recently found them at family dollar.
apr06: bouncybouncybouncywallthud sorryaboutthat wrapdammitwrap
may06: file under: just smile and nod
jun06: i answered honestly but still this is what it came up with
jul06: from a damn fine band...
aug06: i am going out for a bit but please leave a message and i will get back to you when i get home
sep06: the good
oct06: ok these are the bands i have seen live that i can remember
nov06: [blank post]
dec06: i was going to write this big long entry but i dont feel like working on it and so instead i will post a completely useless post
five things that you think folks in your audience don't know about you. stolen from
1] i am shy to a fault
2] i have no desire to talk to my mother
3] i want to live in boston again
4] i was raised baptist
5] my life goal is 85% scar tissue. signs of life as they are.
stolen from
_scarlet_ibis_
1. What's the most non-festive and possibly scandalous thing you've ever done on Christmas or Christmas Eve?
got dumped
2. While having sex, have you ever fantasized that you were doin' it with someone else? Who?
hot in a very long time. and several people
3. If you were famous, what is it about you that would fascinate the tabloids? Feel free to throw some possible tabloid headlines about yourself out there.
fits of depression and mania
4. What's the most unlikely thing/person/situation that's ever aroused you sexually?
can i get back to you on that one?
5. If you had a super power that you sometimes used for evil, or at least a bit of mischief, what would that power be and what would you do with it?
invisiblity. i would just sit there and watch people
6. Think of the sexiest person alive, in your opinion. Who is that person and would you cheat on your current partner with them if given the chance? (If you are without a partner at the moment, think of your last partner.)
i shall not say who and though i would like to say not i cant for sure. but it would never happen anyway so there are no worries. and most certianly not for a one night stand
7. If you didn't have to worry about your boss's opinion, your family's opinion or society's opinion, what would you change about your appearance?
i dont but it requires effort so nothing.
8. What's the most vindictive thing you've ever done?
tough call but i really much prefer spite. and i am sure there are many many things but i am going blank.
9. If you were given a year to live, what would you do differently that you wouldn't have done otherwise?
shot myself in the head? you mother? your father? mr ed?
10. If you didn't have to worry about your weight and poor health, what sorts of foods would you choose to eat daily?
i dont so the same things i do now.
end of the year meme stolen from
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
went to branson mo. toured a cave.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
my resolution is always not to make any resolution.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
uhh i do not recall
4. Did anyone close to you die?
kinda. family
5. What countries did you visit?
nada nunca
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
happiness. you know...a warm gun.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
hellifiknow
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
same as ever. nothing.
9. What was your biggest failure?
existance. not a joke.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
"when you feel good you feel nothing" - r buckminster fuller
11. What was the best thing you bought?
i dont know. maybe my ears are on backwards.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
your mothers. and yours are well.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my mother
14. Where did most of your money go?
diet coke, djarm specials, petrol
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
i dont think i ever get that excited about anything
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
that one that that one group did that is on such and such album
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? yes always
ii. thinner or fatter? uhhh about 50 pounds lighter but still about 230 too heavy
iii. richer or poorer? my fat ass is broke
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
pretty much everything
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
whinning and complaining and bitching and moaning
20. How will you be spending Christmas/New Years?
with family/ sitting at home for amatuer night
21. Which LJ people did you meet this year?
nat
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
i take the fourth and a fifth to go with it
23. How many one-night stands?
nil
24. What was your favorite TV program?
dr g, forensic files etc
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes. yes i do
26. What was the best book you read?
dont know really.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
the oh johnny girls, a broke heart pro
28. What did you want and get?
a new camera after my old one developed a bad case of pepsi syndrome type sprite
29. What did you want and not get?
a big fucking gun
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
spanish bimbos on the nile
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i have no recollection of that and 35 contrary to what you may have been led to believe
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
well nookie
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
fashion? concept? hmmm stuff i like
34. What kept you sane?
LMFAO. pr0n
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
zooey deschanel (almost famous, elf, hitchhickers guide), megan mullally (risky business, will & grace, the megan mullally show)
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the war on bush and dick
37. Who did you miss?
everyone. really.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
barb and nat
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
my mother is a fucking idiot
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"my room is such a pig sty my floor has never been swept but ive got a fuck off attitude and thats something that should be kept"
On the twelfth day of Christmas, 
empallin sent to me...
empallin sent to me...Twelve stories drumming
Eleven cops piping
Ten corsets a-leaping
Nine burroughs hacking
Eight tattoos a-sleeping
Seven conspiracies a-writing
Six redheads a-parenting
Five co-o-o-owboy junkies
Four true friends
Three facial scars
Two love letters
...and a multitard in a photograph.
