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empallini would like to buy a vowel chuck. got this one from 
mama2jude who ass-igned me the letter d. kinda like a lot of my teachers did in high school.
(Leave me a comment on this entry and I'll give you a letter. You must then list 10 words starting with that letter and write a bit about each one.)
death - this is my life if you will. i am not afraid of it. i dont do it for attention but yes i always wish i was dead. and have for a very long time. dont let my smiles fool you for i am not a happy person. it makes my doctors very uncomfortable when they ask if i have had suicidal thoughts and my honest answer is every minute of every day. and then they ask if i have anything specific in mind and my response is that i have a whole list. and what makes it even worse is the fact that for the most part i have not written a note or anything. that is not a good thing in these terms ever. but then everything i write just about is my note. and my words are as cheap as they come. they have considered[1] putting me in the hospital but the next time i go in i will never be getting out. and that my friends is the straight facts without any jokes or bullshit that i normally wrap it up in.
depression - they keep telling me this is my problem but cant pinpoint what kind i am. the most recent choice is bi-polar ii which just isnt as cool as the possible borderline one. i am that messed up. really. personally i think my problem goes deeper then depression. i think it is something in my head. like badly placed scar tissue from a certain childhood incident.
depakote - one of the many meds that i take that dont work near like they are suppose to. i am on the maximum dosage allowed so they could only add other meds to it. but this one is for seizures and depression. on top of that i run the risk of kidney damage/failure taking it at any dosage. the dosage i am at just increases the chances. and this is the only one i take that has this little quirk. damn i am just so fuckin cool livin on the edge like this. narf!
descendents - only one of the best bands of all time in my book. the first band i received something by to review when i started doing zine stuff. they have gotten me through some tough mental situations on more than one occasion. and as i recall at least one of them has depression.
diet coke - pretty much the only thing i drink. ok so i will drink damn near anything as long as it is not water. i cant stand that weird shit. i tell you that stuff kills you.
djarum specials - hey did you know smoking kills? did you guess that i dont give a rats ass? these are what i smoke because they are good for my health. and really who doesnt enjoy sucking on a but at least every now and then? and to think i got started smoking them because of a nice jewish girl i dated. so i have to ask...are fags kosher? yes you are bobdamn right i did have to put both of those jokes in here.
decibels - high ones. i will be playing just the good song at very high ones. the good ones are the ones i like because you have horrible taste. feh. its not like i listen to that much music nowadays anyway.
downloading - this is what i do online a lot. for example i just finished downloading all of the files relating to the latest ms office beta. not really sure if i will install it but i have it if i decide i want to. i actually have it on my to do list to download some winamp themes some windows themes and some fonts. i need more fonts because 4500 just isnt enough.
drublood - known since high school from doing zine stuff. i always thought she was one of the coolest people i had ever befriended. in a hero worship kind of way. i am not saying she is a perfect little angel by any means. she just has this cool that surrounds her. as a side note she (as well as mama2jude) is a prime example of how the whole game got started. i mean we were writing to people all over the country and in other countries as well. sure it is no big deal now but at the point that we got started on all of this the internet had not been made public yet. even then it would be several more years before it was widely known.[2] i mean we really had to work for it. and it wasnt always easy or cheap either. actually a lot of it was a pain in the ass but it was still fun.
doctors - i have seen more than my fair share so if someone wants to take the next few for me i would really appreciate it. i am kind of getting tired of all of them. i could save myself a hell of a lot of time if did just stop going. and you dont even know how much i want to quit taking all of the meds since they dont seem to be working.
stole this fromlilfaerywingz
List up to ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. do not state who these people are. do not confirm or deny any 'comment speculation.'
1] i so hope you stopped putting your weed into that nasty thing.
2] you are so talented and so fragile but yet you always throw caution to the wind. this worries me greatly.
3] i realize it is simplistic and sexist and everything else but damn you have all the perfect features. a body and beauty that just will not quit.
4] someday we will get to hang out again. though we never really did anyway.
5] there should be someone as special in your life as you are.
6] what you said was right but i will never admit it. mostly because i think i already did.
7] a million things i have told you without ever saying a word. i just hope you heard them.
8] i should have been there and i really wish i was but it all worked out in the end.
9] please use your knowledge and power only for good. i know that is a lot to ask of you but still i ask.
10] both of you need to take care of each other. not like you dont already or anything.
[1] right as i finished this word my evening reminder popped up that says dose up you dippy douche just has is has for sever months. i add that because i thought some of you might find it amusing and i feel that it kind of relates.
[2] though i had an interest and was able to get my hands on them about the time i hit six grade. and by seventh i had a course that involved programing in basic for the trs-80 model 11. and i bought a brand new c-64 when i was 16. i had just started getting a handle on the programming when it got stolen a few months later. i was heart boken. yes i had games available for all of them but i was always more interested in making them do things. i know you are just so surprised.
mama2jude who ass-igned me the letter d. kinda like a lot of my teachers did in high school.(Leave me a comment on this entry and I'll give you a letter. You must then list 10 words starting with that letter and write a bit about each one.)
death - this is my life if you will. i am not afraid of it. i dont do it for attention but yes i always wish i was dead. and have for a very long time. dont let my smiles fool you for i am not a happy person. it makes my doctors very uncomfortable when they ask if i have had suicidal thoughts and my honest answer is every minute of every day. and then they ask if i have anything specific in mind and my response is that i have a whole list. and what makes it even worse is the fact that for the most part i have not written a note or anything. that is not a good thing in these terms ever. but then everything i write just about is my note. and my words are as cheap as they come. they have considered[1] putting me in the hospital but the next time i go in i will never be getting out. and that my friends is the straight facts without any jokes or bullshit that i normally wrap it up in.
depression - they keep telling me this is my problem but cant pinpoint what kind i am. the most recent choice is bi-polar ii which just isnt as cool as the possible borderline one. i am that messed up. really. personally i think my problem goes deeper then depression. i think it is something in my head. like badly placed scar tissue from a certain childhood incident.
depakote - one of the many meds that i take that dont work near like they are suppose to. i am on the maximum dosage allowed so they could only add other meds to it. but this one is for seizures and depression. on top of that i run the risk of kidney damage/failure taking it at any dosage. the dosage i am at just increases the chances. and this is the only one i take that has this little quirk. damn i am just so fuckin cool livin on the edge like this. narf!
descendents - only one of the best bands of all time in my book. the first band i received something by to review when i started doing zine stuff. they have gotten me through some tough mental situations on more than one occasion. and as i recall at least one of them has depression.
diet coke - pretty much the only thing i drink. ok so i will drink damn near anything as long as it is not water. i cant stand that weird shit. i tell you that stuff kills you.
djarum specials - hey did you know smoking kills? did you guess that i dont give a rats ass? these are what i smoke because they are good for my health. and really who doesnt enjoy sucking on a but at least every now and then? and to think i got started smoking them because of a nice jewish girl i dated. so i have to ask...are fags kosher? yes you are bobdamn right i did have to put both of those jokes in here.
decibels - high ones. i will be playing just the good song at very high ones. the good ones are the ones i like because you have horrible taste. feh. its not like i listen to that much music nowadays anyway.
downloading - this is what i do online a lot. for example i just finished downloading all of the files relating to the latest ms office beta. not really sure if i will install it but i have it if i decide i want to. i actually have it on my to do list to download some winamp themes some windows themes and some fonts. i need more fonts because 4500 just isnt enough.
drublood - known since high school from doing zine stuff. i always thought she was one of the coolest people i had ever befriended. in a hero worship kind of way. i am not saying she is a perfect little angel by any means. she just has this cool that surrounds her. as a side note she (as well as mama2jude) is a prime example of how the whole game got started. i mean we were writing to people all over the country and in other countries as well. sure it is no big deal now but at the point that we got started on all of this the internet had not been made public yet. even then it would be several more years before it was widely known.[2] i mean we really had to work for it. and it wasnt always easy or cheap either. actually a lot of it was a pain in the ass but it was still fun.doctors - i have seen more than my fair share so if someone wants to take the next few for me i would really appreciate it. i am kind of getting tired of all of them. i could save myself a hell of a lot of time if did just stop going. and you dont even know how much i want to quit taking all of the meds since they dont seem to be working.
stole this from
lilfaerywingzList up to ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. do not state who these people are. do not confirm or deny any 'comment speculation.'
1] i so hope you stopped putting your weed into that nasty thing.
2] you are so talented and so fragile but yet you always throw caution to the wind. this worries me greatly.
3] i realize it is simplistic and sexist and everything else but damn you have all the perfect features. a body and beauty that just will not quit.
4] someday we will get to hang out again. though we never really did anyway.
5] there should be someone as special in your life as you are.
6] what you said was right but i will never admit it. mostly because i think i already did.
7] a million things i have told you without ever saying a word. i just hope you heard them.
8] i should have been there and i really wish i was but it all worked out in the end.
9] please use your knowledge and power only for good. i know that is a lot to ask of you but still i ask.
10] both of you need to take care of each other. not like you dont already or anything.
[1] right as i finished this word my evening reminder popped up that says dose up you dippy douche just has is has for sever months. i add that because i thought some of you might find it amusing and i feel that it kind of relates.
[2] though i had an interest and was able to get my hands on them about the time i hit six grade. and by seventh i had a course that involved programing in basic for the trs-80 model 11. and i bought a brand new c-64 when i was 16. i had just started getting a handle on the programming when it got stolen a few months later. i was heart boken. yes i had games available for all of them but i was always more interested in making them do things. i know you are just so surprised.
