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empallini got this from my uncle and did in fact correct him on it. yeah its a ledgend. a myth. a lie. the part that is so painful about this is that it got printed in one of the issues of 'as is'. you know, the zine i did in high school. and that was jeez how many years ago? so this thing has been around for 15+ years. but seeing it still makes me feel like a sucker. but then that was before the internet became what it is. we probably should have called and asked them for their stance on that but come on we were high school kids. yeah i know ignorance is no excuse but you can still suck it..
Neiman-Marcus Cookies
A little background: Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very expensive store; i.e., they sell your typical $8.00 T-shirt for $50.00. Let's let them have it! THIS IS A TRUE STORY! My daughter and I had just finished a salad at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas, and we decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus cookie."
It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe, and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not, but you can buy the recipe."
Well, I asked how much, and she responded, "Only two fifty-it's a great deal!" I agreed to that, and told her to just add it to my tab. Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge was $285.00! I looked again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe-$250.00". That was outrageous!
I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress it was "two fifty", which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge. They would not refund my money because, according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this point." I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and the Texas Attorney General's office for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money
back."
I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of fun." I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus...for free.
She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this."
I said, "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you ripped me off!" and slammed down the phone.
So here it is!PLEASE pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make another penny off of this recipe!
NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)
2 cups butter
24 oz.chocolate chips
4 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
5 cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
Cream the butter and both sugars.
Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda.
Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts.
Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.
Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.
Makes 112 cookies.
PLEASE READ THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN E-MAIL ADDRESS! THIS IS REALLY TERRIFIC!!
Even if the people on your e-mail list don't eat sweets send it to them and ask them to pass it on. Let's make sure we get this ladies $250.00 worth. Enjoy the cookies,they are good....
yes they are good cookies however if you go to the stores official website the recipe that is there is not the same one. personally i think what the woman paid for if any of it is true is for the 112 cookies she bought. of course there is the cynical side of me that thinks maybe the above recipe is the real one and they give away the one below so as to mislead the masses.
An urban myth is a modern folk tale, its origins unknown, its believability enhanced simply by the frequency with which it is repeated. Our signature chocolate chip cookie is the subject of one such myth. If you haven't heard the story, we won't perpetuate it here. If you have, the recipe below should serve to refute it. Copy it, print it out, pass it along to friends and family. It's a terrific recipe. And it's absolutely free.
Ingredients
# 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
# 1 cup light brown sugar
# 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
# 1 large egg
# 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
# 1-3/4 cups all purpose flour
# 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
# 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
# 1/2 teaspoon salt
# 1-1/2 teaspoons instant espresso coffee powder
# 1-1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Cream the butter with the sugars using an electric mixer on medium speed until fluffy (approximately 30 seconds)
2. Beat in the egg and the vanilla extract for another 30 seconds.
3. In a mixing bowl, sift together the dry ingredients and beat into the butter mixture at low speed for about 15 seconds. Stir in the espresso coffee powder and chocolate chips.
4. Using a 1 ounce scoop or a 2 tablespoon measure, drop cookie dough onto a greased cookie sheet about 3 inches apart. Gently press down on the dough with the back of a spoon to spread out into a 2 inch circle. Bake for about 20 minutes or until nicely browned around the edges. Bake a little longer for a crispier cookie.
Yield: 2 dozen cookies
doink! next please!
i got this one from my mother but the reason for her sending it is that i used to work for a large soda company. the largest even.
VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ
This incident happened recently in north Texas. We need to be even more careful everywhere. A woman went boating one Sunday, taking with her some cans of coke which she put in the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken into Intensive Care Unit and on Wednesday she died. The autopsy revealed a certain Leptospirose caused by the can of coke from which she had drunk, not using a glass. A test showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to wash thoroughly the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them as they have been stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned. A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets i.e.. full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Please forward this message to all the people you care about.
and this is the response i sent back to her...
:-P ppppppbbbbbbbbbbttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!
though its not a bad idea its what you might call a load of crap.
see
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/bl_coke_can_leptospirose.htm
http://www.snopes.com/toxins/raturine.asp
i kept it short because i bitch at her when she sends me these things but let me explain myself. you should probably have a seat.
why is it a good idea? well while i was working there i saw a good number of cases get stepped on. that would not be such a big deal if the floor were not coat black where soda had been spilled and then driven and stepped in so much that it wasnt even sticky anymore. well for the most part. i saw cases that people had sat on during breaks and such. so next time just think some ones ass could have been resting on top of that can. i could go on but you get the general idea on that.
as for the mouse urine. well i never saw that many mice. they dont care for the soda. maybe the cardboard that some of it is transported in but not the soda. its not in most stores long enough to draw them in for nesting and such. why would they go for it in stores anyway when there is a very wide of things they are more interested in. a good chunk of that stuff isnt even anywhere near the soda in most stores. you see where i am going with this?
from the cdc website:
Where is leptospirosis found?
Leptospirosis occurs worldwide but is most common in temperate or tropical climates. It is an occupational hazard for many people who work outdoors or with animals, for example, farmers, sewer workers, veterinarians, fish workers, dairy farmers, or military personnel. It is a recreational hazard for campers or those who participate in outdoor sports in contaminated areas and has been associated with swimming, wading, and whitewater rafting in contaminated lakes and rivers. The incidence is also increasing among urban children.
so gee could she have gotten it from the fish and not the soda. seems more likely.
a quick challange? where the hell is nycu? it sure as hell isnt in new york city as some of you may be thinking.
you ever think that sometimes i get too pissed off for my own good? me neither.
this one came from my younger sister...
There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses. I thought the results were pretty interesting:
85% of women think their ass is too big.
10% of women think their ass is too little.
The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him anyway, he's a good man and they still would have married him
ok so you want some links to wrap ths up.
fontface.com - a nice collection of fonts to download. someday i am going to hit the 5000 mark. earlier versions of windows limited you to 1000. well ok maybe not you. you may have never gotten there. but it did me. anyway since xp allows a larger number i have been trying to catch up. i just need a tool that will unzip 1000 files all to the same directory with out stopping for anything. yeah that will happen. o_o
datapimp email and hosting services - another shitload of free and obscene email address for you to use when contacting those you hate. or it may be the samebatch as before but i dont think so and it can stand to be repeated several times. you could be the proud owner of [you]@leavemethefuckalone.com or [you]@jesusisdead-getoverit.com or maybe even [you]@irantthereforeiam.com. there are so many more.
yousendit | email large files quickly, securely, and easily! - short term ftp of sorts. for transferring large files from one place or person to another with out filling an email box. a pretty damn usefull tool if you ask me. but you didnt.
upromise - the way to save for college - this is a really good program if you keep up with it. i have been a member of several years and i know most of you have seen the logo in several places. maybe you never took the time to check it out. do it. if you have small kids there is even more reason to do it. its basically free college money. really.
nine ravens croaking - pagan pantheist writings and rituals from dc - look what i found. a witchs site. ok not a witch. the witch. for all those flakes that go off about being witchs and such its nice to know see oee one that is the real thing and has been for years.
mozilla update :: extensions - add features to mozilla software - i assume some of you are using firefox so if you are and havent gone here to look through the extensions i suggest you do it. some of them are funny while others come in very handy.
make-a-flake - a snowflake maker by lookandfeel new media - blame mikey for this one. this is how he repays me playing tech support. i think i got the fuzzy end of the lollipop on this one. i think some one needs to make a date-a-flake site now.
rfd-tv - flip through channels i came across the farm channel. from their website...
"based in dallas, texas, rfd-tv is the nation's first 24-hour television network dedicated to serving rural america and agriculture. programming is produced and uplinked via ku-band satellite g-11 from studios and facilities leased from primedia productions, in carrollton, texas."
...really how many of their viewer give a rats ass what band they are broadcasting on? or understand it even?
revolution (selamectin) provides heartworm and flea protection for cats - i saw the commercial for this and thought it was cute. i need to go back and take a better look at it. as it stands i really dont know what it is.
people's church - for some reason that name just gives me the creeeps. makes me think of large numbers of peoples dying or something. kinda the same way the peoples bank around here me want to stick outse my touge. not that i would go to church anyway but i really wouldnt go to this one.
one church. multiple locations. | lifechurch.tv - just watch the flash into on the site. its sad really. and its a franchise church. not that that is a new idea but they force the idea to the next level.
directory listing of: mp3s:smiths covers - i have this thing for cover versions of songs. it helps if its bands i like being covered. this fits that bill. and if you go up a directory there are others to download as well. not that i would ever do that.
negativmailorderland: negativland releases - this is the part where you see smoke coming out of my ears. there is stuff listed on this page that i do not own. dammit. dammit! DAMMIT! you see there are some artists i try to keep complete collections of and negativland are one of them. others include but are not limited to tmbg (newer stuff and dvds missing), ween (stuff missing here to. fucksis), billie holiday (stuff missing but there is a lot there), johnny cash (again stuff missing but there is a lot), einstürzende neubauten (newer stuff missing) and yeah the smiths. this is why i have a database for this stuff. i no longer remember what i do and dont own. totally unacceptable.
and in closing...
thats good that i dont need to make an appointment. i wonder if they offer anything other that car accidents?
wait! one more thing before you go...someone tell me if this counts as a real post.
Neiman-Marcus Cookies
A little background: Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very expensive store; i.e., they sell your typical $8.00 T-shirt for $50.00. Let's let them have it! THIS IS A TRUE STORY! My daughter and I had just finished a salad at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas, and we decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus cookie."
It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe, and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not, but you can buy the recipe."
Well, I asked how much, and she responded, "Only two fifty-it's a great deal!" I agreed to that, and told her to just add it to my tab. Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge was $285.00! I looked again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe-$250.00". That was outrageous!
I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress it was "two fifty", which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge. They would not refund my money because, according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this point." I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and the Texas Attorney General's office for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money
back."
I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of fun." I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus...for free.
She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this."
I said, "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you ripped me off!" and slammed down the phone.
So here it is!PLEASE pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make another penny off of this recipe!
NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)
2 cups butter
24 oz.chocolate chips
4 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
5 cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
Cream the butter and both sugars.
Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda.
Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts.
Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.
Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.
Makes 112 cookies.
PLEASE READ THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN E-MAIL ADDRESS! THIS IS REALLY TERRIFIC!!
Even if the people on your e-mail list don't eat sweets send it to them and ask them to pass it on. Let's make sure we get this ladies $250.00 worth. Enjoy the cookies,they are good....
yes they are good cookies however if you go to the stores official website the recipe that is there is not the same one. personally i think what the woman paid for if any of it is true is for the 112 cookies she bought. of course there is the cynical side of me that thinks maybe the above recipe is the real one and they give away the one below so as to mislead the masses.
An urban myth is a modern folk tale, its origins unknown, its believability enhanced simply by the frequency with which it is repeated. Our signature chocolate chip cookie is the subject of one such myth. If you haven't heard the story, we won't perpetuate it here. If you have, the recipe below should serve to refute it. Copy it, print it out, pass it along to friends and family. It's a terrific recipe. And it's absolutely free.
Ingredients
# 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
# 1 cup light brown sugar
# 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
# 1 large egg
# 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
# 1-3/4 cups all purpose flour
# 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
# 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
# 1/2 teaspoon salt
# 1-1/2 teaspoons instant espresso coffee powder
# 1-1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Cream the butter with the sugars using an electric mixer on medium speed until fluffy (approximately 30 seconds)
2. Beat in the egg and the vanilla extract for another 30 seconds.
3. In a mixing bowl, sift together the dry ingredients and beat into the butter mixture at low speed for about 15 seconds. Stir in the espresso coffee powder and chocolate chips.
4. Using a 1 ounce scoop or a 2 tablespoon measure, drop cookie dough onto a greased cookie sheet about 3 inches apart. Gently press down on the dough with the back of a spoon to spread out into a 2 inch circle. Bake for about 20 minutes or until nicely browned around the edges. Bake a little longer for a crispier cookie.
Yield: 2 dozen cookies
doink! next please!
i got this one from my mother but the reason for her sending it is that i used to work for a large soda company. the largest even.
VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ
This incident happened recently in north Texas. We need to be even more careful everywhere. A woman went boating one Sunday, taking with her some cans of coke which she put in the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken into Intensive Care Unit and on Wednesday she died. The autopsy revealed a certain Leptospirose caused by the can of coke from which she had drunk, not using a glass. A test showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to wash thoroughly the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them as they have been stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned. A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets i.e.. full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Please forward this message to all the people you care about.
and this is the response i sent back to her...
:-P ppppppbbbbbbbbbbttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!
though its not a bad idea its what you might call a load of crap.
see
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/bl_coke_can_leptospirose.htm
http://www.snopes.com/toxins/raturine.asp
i kept it short because i bitch at her when she sends me these things but let me explain myself. you should probably have a seat.
why is it a good idea? well while i was working there i saw a good number of cases get stepped on. that would not be such a big deal if the floor were not coat black where soda had been spilled and then driven and stepped in so much that it wasnt even sticky anymore. well for the most part. i saw cases that people had sat on during breaks and such. so next time just think some ones ass could have been resting on top of that can. i could go on but you get the general idea on that.
as for the mouse urine. well i never saw that many mice. they dont care for the soda. maybe the cardboard that some of it is transported in but not the soda. its not in most stores long enough to draw them in for nesting and such. why would they go for it in stores anyway when there is a very wide of things they are more interested in. a good chunk of that stuff isnt even anywhere near the soda in most stores. you see where i am going with this?
from the cdc website:
Where is leptospirosis found?
Leptospirosis occurs worldwide but is most common in temperate or tropical climates. It is an occupational hazard for many people who work outdoors or with animals, for example, farmers, sewer workers, veterinarians, fish workers, dairy farmers, or military personnel. It is a recreational hazard for campers or those who participate in outdoor sports in contaminated areas and has been associated with swimming, wading, and whitewater rafting in contaminated lakes and rivers. The incidence is also increasing among urban children.
so gee could she have gotten it from the fish and not the soda. seems more likely.
a quick challange? where the hell is nycu? it sure as hell isnt in new york city as some of you may be thinking.
you ever think that sometimes i get too pissed off for my own good? me neither.
this one came from my younger sister...
There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses. I thought the results were pretty interesting:
ok so you want some links to wrap ths up.
fontface.com - a nice collection of fonts to download. someday i am going to hit the 5000 mark. earlier versions of windows limited you to 1000. well ok maybe not you. you may have never gotten there. but it did me. anyway since xp allows a larger number i have been trying to catch up. i just need a tool that will unzip 1000 files all to the same directory with out stopping for anything. yeah that will happen. o_o
datapimp email and hosting services - another shitload of free and obscene email address for you to use when contacting those you hate. or it may be the samebatch as before but i dont think so and it can stand to be repeated several times. you could be the proud owner of [you]@leavemethefuckalone.com or [you]@jesusisdead-getoverit.com or maybe even [you]@irantthereforeiam.com. there are so many more.
yousendit | email large files quickly, securely, and easily! - short term ftp of sorts. for transferring large files from one place or person to another with out filling an email box. a pretty damn usefull tool if you ask me. but you didnt.
upromise - the way to save for college - this is a really good program if you keep up with it. i have been a member of several years and i know most of you have seen the logo in several places. maybe you never took the time to check it out. do it. if you have small kids there is even more reason to do it. its basically free college money. really.
nine ravens croaking - pagan pantheist writings and rituals from dc - look what i found. a witchs site. ok not a witch. the witch. for all those flakes that go off about being witchs and such its nice to know see oee one that is the real thing and has been for years.
mozilla update :: extensions - add features to mozilla software - i assume some of you are using firefox so if you are and havent gone here to look through the extensions i suggest you do it. some of them are funny while others come in very handy.
make-a-flake - a snowflake maker by lookandfeel new media - blame mikey for this one. this is how he repays me playing tech support. i think i got the fuzzy end of the lollipop on this one. i think some one needs to make a date-a-flake site now.
rfd-tv - flip through channels i came across the farm channel. from their website...
"based in dallas, texas, rfd-tv is the nation's first 24-hour television network dedicated to serving rural america and agriculture. programming is produced and uplinked via ku-band satellite g-11 from studios and facilities leased from primedia productions, in carrollton, texas."
...really how many of their viewer give a rats ass what band they are broadcasting on? or understand it even?
revolution (selamectin) provides heartworm and flea protection for cats - i saw the commercial for this and thought it was cute. i need to go back and take a better look at it. as it stands i really dont know what it is.
people's church - for some reason that name just gives me the creeeps. makes me think of large numbers of peoples dying or something. kinda the same way the peoples bank around here me want to stick outse my touge. not that i would go to church anyway but i really wouldnt go to this one.
one church. multiple locations. | lifechurch.tv - just watch the flash into on the site. its sad really. and its a franchise church. not that that is a new idea but they force the idea to the next level.
directory listing of: mp3s:smiths covers - i have this thing for cover versions of songs. it helps if its bands i like being covered. this fits that bill. and if you go up a directory there are others to download as well. not that i would ever do that.
negativmailorderland: negativland releases - this is the part where you see smoke coming out of my ears. there is stuff listed on this page that i do not own. dammit. dammit! DAMMIT! you see there are some artists i try to keep complete collections of and negativland are one of them. others include but are not limited to tmbg (newer stuff and dvds missing), ween (stuff missing here to. fucksis), billie holiday (stuff missing but there is a lot there), johnny cash (again stuff missing but there is a lot), einstürzende neubauten (newer stuff missing) and yeah the smiths. this is why i have a database for this stuff. i no longer remember what i do and dont own. totally unacceptable.
and in closing...
thats good that i dont need to make an appointment. i wonder if they offer anything other that car accidents?
wait! one more thing before you go...someone tell me if this counts as a real post.
