(no subject)

[empallin]

so debi and I got into a big fight last night and I started whizzing stuff across the house. Pissed off but still doing my damnedest to not hit her or the 2 dogs. It's been boiling for a long time. I would tell her how sorry I am but she would just keep yelling. I have my problems and I admit to them. I'm nuts. I am also working on those problems. And when she started to bring up the T-word, I swear I could have killed her. I'm crazy not stupid. I cleaned up some of the stuff. Mostly my stuff. What was not mine was by accident. I am leaving some of it to remind me how much of an asshole I am. Now she is saying it is over...again. I don't know. I can't take the fighting. All the time fighting. It's the type of household I grew up in and I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE. But it appears I have. I know nothing I do will ever be good enough. Never has been. I have always been a fuck up. Probably always will be. Now I have to deal with the assholes at work. Fuck her. Fuck them. Fuck everything. And this is on mood stabilizers?

"I think I'll skip this one this year"