drinking but not driving. tryiing to not think about dying. as the Dead Kennedys put it "double up th dosage if you want to survive." waking up on the wrong side of life and all alone. use care when abusing. out of time and out of my mind. checking in before I call it quits. dead air. dail tone. busy signal. silence. that darkness that looks over my shoulder. never alright. never ok. never happy. never warm. never comforted. not like this and not like you think. never thoght it would happen like this. never thought it would happen. i can only wish you the best and hope you do what it takes to be happy. defective and disappearing. no worries. no regrets. no more pain. nobodies fault but my own. nothing that could be done. just move along. nothing to see here. you'll get over it. and if everything goes right it will be quickly. may all your dreams be wonderful and pretty and nice and just what you want. may all you nights be filled with joy and plenty of peaceful rest. may you always get everything you want and need. maybe someday you will be able to forgive me for the pain I may have caused.