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empallindocumentations of insanity
the numbering is completely out of order and will only get worse. do you really expect things like this to sit at the front of someones memory? "I'm worst at what I do best and for this gift I feel blessed" - Nirvana. Ishould probably ask some of my friends about the ones they can remember. There is a general statement that I cannot find a good example so I give you that one here. It's hard to be afraid, when you don't care. This is the second and last part to this though I may go back and add more in, if I get reminded of them.
007] - one night hanging out at the club, Diane and I were talking about this kind of thing. we decided we could try something new together. so we did a lot of walking around and crossing steets without looking. we ended up laughing abouut it because we both expected to get hit but people were stopping without even honking.
008] - My last few weeks in Carbondale, I did everything I could to try to drink myself to death. It was during this time period that I smoked pot for the second and last time in my life. I had no reason to care so I didn't. My last night in town I went through two pints and two 40's, plus stuff people had given me.. then i made the waalk to the bus station. I was upset because I had a lot liquor in my system but was still very aware and coherent. i was not expecting to actually make it onto that bus. Man it sucks having such a high tolerence to alcohol.
009] - Debi and I were having a fight while driving home from work one night. She was driving down a service road to the highway doing about 40 mph. Before I even knoew what was going on, I had opened the door. I had just gotten the seatbelt as she slammed on the brakes. This made the fight even worse, but what did you expect?
010] - Right after I moved from Boston to New Jersey, I was having a lot of bad days. This was a point were I was completely gone, I can not even remember the number of times I tried or thought about during this time. On the other hand, this is what caused me to actually start going to therapy. There is one incident I do remember. I had taken 25-30 benadryl. When Debi noticed that the bottle was almost empty she made me calll either poison control or the number on the bottle. I told her, and them, that I had only taken about ten. when ever I got off the phone, I told her they said that I should be OK, but just keep an eye on the situation. What they actually said was that I should go to the hospital immediately. In the end it made me a little groggy but seemed to have no serious adverse effects.
011] - twice in two months I took too many pills while taking on the phone to some of my good friends. I did not tell them until after the fact. I was not on the phone to get support. I was on the phone to talk to them. I did not feel they needed to be bothered by me and my petty problems. There are no tying up losoe ends for me. Eventually I got to tired to continue the coversation and went to sleep for a day. Never even bothered to tell the person that was actually in the house with me. I did not want her help at all
012] - the girl that stole my virginity would often let me drive her car, even though I did not have a license. One night we were sitting at the intersection of of 63rdd and NW Expressway. I was letting the car forward as the traffic crossed. I was thinking about gunning it if a tractor trailer came throuugh. I saw onr coming. Ready to go. Then she dropped it into neutral and said something about how she had thought about that too but it was her parents car.
013] -
"Just get me to the airport
And put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers
I can't control my brain "
- The Ramones
I Am
Which tarot card are you?
Suspended decision. Initiation, divination, prophecy. Turning point in psychic powers. Trust in inner voice. Suspension, change, reversal, boredom, abandonment, sacrifice, readjustment, improvement, rebirth He usually represents a time of feeling in limbo, being stuck or being prevented from moving forward. He's usually depicted hanging upside down with his hands tied - that's just what it feels like! We need to remain flexible and willing to let go of things, it's probably a time for sacrifice. Like the man in this card from the Murciano Tarot, don't sweat it, take some time out and be patient. The Hanged Man - External Meaning: Spiritual awareness and the happiness and assuredness it brings. Sacrificing for a noble purpose. Reveral of one's current way of life. Inner peace. Developed intuition and prophecy. Esoteric Meaning: The spirit of the mighty waters. Reversing false images. Sacrifice. Energys: Water
the numbering is completely out of order and will only get worse. do you really expect things like this to sit at the front of someones memory? "I'm worst at what I do best and for this gift I feel blessed" - Nirvana. Ishould probably ask some of my friends about the ones they can remember. There is a general statement that I cannot find a good example so I give you that one here. It's hard to be afraid, when you don't care. This is the second and last part to this though I may go back and add more in, if I get reminded of them.
007] - one night hanging out at the club, Diane and I were talking about this kind of thing. we decided we could try something new together. so we did a lot of walking around and crossing steets without looking. we ended up laughing abouut it because we both expected to get hit but people were stopping without even honking.
008] - My last few weeks in Carbondale, I did everything I could to try to drink myself to death. It was during this time period that I smoked pot for the second and last time in my life. I had no reason to care so I didn't. My last night in town I went through two pints and two 40's, plus stuff people had given me.. then i made the waalk to the bus station. I was upset because I had a lot liquor in my system but was still very aware and coherent. i was not expecting to actually make it onto that bus. Man it sucks having such a high tolerence to alcohol.
009] - Debi and I were having a fight while driving home from work one night. She was driving down a service road to the highway doing about 40 mph. Before I even knoew what was going on, I had opened the door. I had just gotten the seatbelt as she slammed on the brakes. This made the fight even worse, but what did you expect?
010] - Right after I moved from Boston to New Jersey, I was having a lot of bad days. This was a point were I was completely gone, I can not even remember the number of times I tried or thought about during this time. On the other hand, this is what caused me to actually start going to therapy. There is one incident I do remember. I had taken 25-30 benadryl. When Debi noticed that the bottle was almost empty she made me calll either poison control or the number on the bottle. I told her, and them, that I had only taken about ten. when ever I got off the phone, I told her they said that I should be OK, but just keep an eye on the situation. What they actually said was that I should go to the hospital immediately. In the end it made me a little groggy but seemed to have no serious adverse effects.
011] - twice in two months I took too many pills while taking on the phone to some of my good friends. I did not tell them until after the fact. I was not on the phone to get support. I was on the phone to talk to them. I did not feel they needed to be bothered by me and my petty problems. There are no tying up losoe ends for me. Eventually I got to tired to continue the coversation and went to sleep for a day. Never even bothered to tell the person that was actually in the house with me. I did not want her help at all
012] - the girl that stole my virginity would often let me drive her car, even though I did not have a license. One night we were sitting at the intersection of of 63rdd and NW Expressway. I was letting the car forward as the traffic crossed. I was thinking about gunning it if a tractor trailer came throuugh. I saw onr coming. Ready to go. Then she dropped it into neutral and said something about how she had thought about that too but it was her parents car.
013] -
"Just get me to the airport
And put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers
I can't control my brain "
- The Ramones
I Am
Which tarot card are you?
Suspended decision. Initiation, divination, prophecy. Turning point in psychic powers. Trust in inner voice. Suspension, change, reversal, boredom, abandonment, sacrifice, readjustment, improvement, rebirth He usually represents a time of feeling in limbo, being stuck or being prevented from moving forward. He's usually depicted hanging upside down with his hands tied - that's just what it feels like! We need to remain flexible and willing to let go of things, it's probably a time for sacrifice. Like the man in this card from the Murciano Tarot, don't sweat it, take some time out and be patient. The Hanged Man - External Meaning: Spiritual awareness and the happiness and assuredness it brings. Sacrificing for a noble purpose. Reveral of one's current way of life. Inner peace. Developed intuition and prophecy. Esoteric Meaning: The spirit of the mighty waters. Reversing false images. Sacrifice. Energys: Water
