[khg] louder apologies

the sound of that song in the night
and i am ready to light up the powder house
drunk and trying to get back to college
while dealing with things i still dont want to understand

a hit to the chest
the rotting brain
why is it so cold ?
why is it so lonely?

the sound of her voice with a saturated delay
and i am watching it all fall apart one more time
walking back and forth on that cold jersey street
from the park to the park to the middle of madness

this is wrong
its not working out
what is that noise?
why cant i make it stop?

the sound of his voice with just a hint of reverb
and i am heading back down south
where they kept trying to take me away
while i sat hoping for each night to be the last

so the closest could be the happiest

[khg] between then

its not how she said it
she chose her words carefully
so there would be no mistake
no subtle hints
or mixed messages
one more day
one more stupid question
and she was gone
she would never look back
never even want to talk about it
yet you still hold on
thinking someday
she will come back around
sometimes she remembers you
thankful
for the fact
that she has never been back there
always remembering
the lessons you taught her
(the hard way)
that made her a better person
than you will ever be

[khg] 8 in 6 of 67 at 33

slide the headphones on
eyes closed
on dirty wood floors
its a way to survive
to escape
the noise
the people
the heat
the cold
the world
that pollutes you mind

9 or 13 or 45 or 64
for this moment
numbers dont matter
facts are changed
as each note swallows you
taking you away
with just enough time
to leave a note
at the top of the stairs

[khg] fell and fall

i still remember the chill
from watching the sunrise
as light floods in the room
and glides across your body

i still remember the chill
and the rattle of plastic cups
as color splatters the room
and the noise disappears

i still remember the chill
and the anger and sadness
as i tried to walk away
from a memory that remains

i still remember the chill
from a night colder than said
when we decided to face death
but never heard a whisper

[khg] froth and foam

we could hear you coming
from a mile away
trying to flesh out
how long you would stay
we know your games
we choose not to play

we can fake it for the family
we can fake it for the kids
we can fake it for the holidays
but i cant fake it for you
one more day

dark and dreadful
just like you wanted
coiled in coldness
just like you needed
lacking and lovely
just like you feared

we can fake it for the family
we can fake it for the kids
we can fake it for the holidays
but i cant fake it for you
one more day

it wouldnt be right
to say it as we
it wouldnt be right
to say it was just me
but in the middle of the night
it is as it has to be

[khg] haven full of angles

we hold hands and stare
with out logic or reason
stare into the dark
and the darkest parts
of minds that dont mind

ignoring the idle chatter
with the chattering idols
swirling see through girls
little asian boys in skirts
eating smoke and rumors

listening to songs we know
songs we grew up with
still we dont hear a sound
other than tiny voices
telling us to run away

moving a little closer
trying to make some room
for things that bite and sting
all the things that can break
this far out from reality

the way you move
says you want the night
and to be taken away
taken for the night
to show your moves

we could capture the mood
going mad in the process
only to throw the bottle
to the solitude of sunrise
as we go our separate ways

we sit and stare
not even bothering to talk
because all i can see
is everything
going to hell

[khg] 500 miles later

the taste of sleep deprivation and gas fumes
the taste of cold coffee and warm soda
the taste of day old sandwiches and gas station snacks
the taste of rubber burning on blacktop
the taste of want and desire
the taste new air and different smells
the taste the wind and passing time
this taste of being where you had to be
to be and not to be for the moment