this ought to throw you for a curve. i want kids. i always have. i know guys supposedly are not suppose to want children. i think that is bullshit. and from my personal point of view, i know it is. the majority of guys i work with have kids and i would be willing to bet every one of them would kill to protect their kids. and they wouldn't have multiple ones if they didn't want them. or they wouldn't stick around. they deffinately would not bust their asses at a miserible job so that their kids are taken care of. now it may be hard for most guys to admit this but them i am not most guys. i have for one have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
this is not something i just suddenly decided. i like kids. i can talk to them on their level without talking down to them. ih highschool i actuall came up with names for the first two. that was a long lime ago and i have since found better names. if it was a boy it was going to be Sydey Dow and if was going to be a girl it was going to be Elizabeth Marie. I has get older though tradition has taken over more. I like my grandfathers name and my mothers middle name. but she hates that name. my older sisters original idea wasn't a bad one at all. she just wanted a donor basically. not someone who was going to hang around. that changed soon enough.
there is the problem. oppurtunity. i have not been in a condition where i thought it would be a good idea. if i was in a good situation then i id not feel the relationship was not stable enough to with stand that. or both. sometimes it's so hard to make the right choice. some things in my past have been way to complicated and children around would just make it worse. but the fact that several of my friends have already gotten to that point just makes me want them more. but it has to start with love and be raised into love.
if i were around my sisters kids or my friends, i would treat them with respect. i think that is a good part of why i have stayed friends with those few that i have. everyone of them would make good parents. sure i make joke about it, but when it comes down to it, they will all be very good parents if people would back off and let them raise their kids right. all the kids are pretty smart too. makes me smile everytime i think of those happy homes. and yeah they will get an ass kicking if they mess it up. they won't.
i have come too close a couple of times. in very bad situations. you would think that would scare the idea out of me. no. it just threw me for a loop that both times it had to happen at such horrible times. relationships that were filled with all the wrong emotions. there is a god of miscarriages. it is still very hard for me to talk about that part in dept so you'll have to skip that part.
at the risk of sounding like a psa...take care of your kids and love them as they are. it will be to everyone's benifit. as a parent, you are a special person and some of the littlest things will be burned into the minds of babes. consider yourself lucky to have a child you can love and care for.
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