Wheels On Fire 003

When I woke up the next day I was very unkindly reminded of just how uncomfortable Kelly's floor was. Most hard wood floor are not a problem for me to sleep on, but that one caused me pain every time I slept on it. "Clean sheets mean a lot to a guy that sleeps on the floor" - Descendents. I stumble around for a little bit. The way I always do when I first wake up. Then we descided we were going to go shopping. This is probably the only trip I made to Columbia where I did not go to Salt Of The Earth or Shakesphere's Pizza. Instead we went to a differant record store. I believe it was Streetside, but I could be wrong. This was Kelly's idea, and I think it was her way of seeing exactly how drunk I actually was the night before. She new I hated this store. It had a good selection but it was a chain and thus had chain store prices. The last time I had been there was when she, her husband (at the time), and I went a year or two earlier. So as soon as she suggested it, I suspected something.

As soon as we go in she starts mentioning that she has to babysit that night. I can easily occupy myself in this town so that will be no problem. Then a click. I notice that as we are talking she is looking over my shoulder. So I turn to see what she is so interested in. This is where it cane in handy that the music is always louder in record stores. "Hey, that is that girl." "Yeah, you should go ask her if she is doing anything tonight." You bitch. The same conversation but sober this time. While we are repeating this conversation, we both keep looking at her. She is doing something to keep from staring, but I can tell you that from the minute we came in she was watching our every action. "Oh sometimes I think that you're avoiding me I'm okay alone but you got something I need" - Melanie Safka. It is so easy to recognize someone doing something that you yourself are so good at. Then finally Kelly says that I should go talk to her. "Why?" "Because she likes you" "Ok, but I am not asking her out" "Sure" So I walk over and ask her what ahe is doing. She has been sitting there plaing with this pinecone covered in candle wax. "You know she thrills me with all her charms" - Tom Waits. Wuthout even looking up she says is trying to figure it out if she should take a bite out of it. So we get into this inane conversation about this thing. Then finally Kelly comes up, says hi to the girl, and asks if I am ready to go. I tell her yes but in my head I never wanted to leave this town. Or this situation. From there we went to the Peace Nook and then back home. Later on I took her to where she was babysitting and just drove arond for a little while. I used her car since mine was not going anywhere it did not have too. Picked her back up and then to sleep. Very early to bed so that I could be out early.

So she woke me up early enough that I could be out of her way getting ready for work. So I did a quick wake up and we said our good byes. On the way out of town I stopped to get gas and some snacks. While I was pumping the gas I was staring at the pay phone. Finshed up, got everything payed for and then went over and dropped a couple of dimes. It was to early to tell the end point people I was out. Wasn't thinking about it anyway. I had just left but I had to call Kelly. "Now that I am leaving Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you" - Lisa Loeb "Listen I know I just left but there is something I have to say now. This visit was suppose to be it. After I left you were never going to hear from me agin." I hear her start cying a little. " I am sorry for even thinking that. And I am sorry for not telling you this. But it is not going to be what happens anyway. I'll call you after I get to Boston or where ever I end up." I felt better but I still felt like an asshole. Still feel like an asshole for having to make that call. Because of that plan I am still tracking down and being tracked down by people who I once swore I was never going to have contact with again. But I have not seen Kelly or most of the people I knew since I left. "I've got no one to blame but my fat self" - They Might Be Giants.

Now that was out of the way and it was time for the second leg - and the third part of this very long story. The first of the third may follow later on tonight.

bowel shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse 001

the first part of this is going to be very disjointed. my memories are like a television commercial for a movies here. bits and pieces of the big picture. it was mostly just mile after mile of highway in the day and night. thankfully nothing really interesting happened. These are in the order of the way I remember them happening but that may be completely differant than the order they actually happened. This leg took about 36 hours, which is a lot longer than it should have. There was no sleep involved.

I was thinking I was going to go visit my sister in Chicago. However the closer I got to St Louis, the more it seemed like a bad idea. That was a planned stop that was suddenly canceled without notice. I could think of no place in that town where I could park my car long enough for me to sleep and have it be safe. So I changed the trip from three good legs to one one finished and one from hell. I regretted this decision for so many reasons. Someone should have known I would change almost every plan I had made for this.

I remeber stopping for gas. Going throught the routines. This may have actually happened on day two, because it was at a BP. It would make more since but I really believe it was day one. A nice clean gas staion. So I get it all done hope in and the Corolla did it's special thing(MP3). Sometimes it would die and not restart for a long time. Other times when being driven for a while, if you stopped it would not restart for a while. Always messed me up because I never knew what the problem was. So I sat there thinking this town is the middle of nowhere, I really do not want to live here. Please start again. It was about 15 minutes before it started and by then my ass was freaking out pretty bad. When it started I got out of there as fast as I could.

I remember shortly after dark pulling into a gas station to call Kixxie and AEPB to tell then I was definately on my way. I walked around for a little bit. Got something to eat. When I triewd to make the call none of the payphone would work right. I remeber feeling very tired and out of place here.

I remember pulling into a rest stop . It was at the top of this big mountian. Cold, dark and foggy. I was really thinking about going to sleep but after trying for a while I decided I could not do it. So I got a cup of coffee out of the vending machines. The ones locked behind bars so you have to reach through the bars to get you purchased items . The Cup had playing cards printed on it. Tasted just as I had expected,l ike shit. If I could have do it I would have taken a picture or filmed it because it was that beatiful and spooky. Reminded me of what I always thought West Virginia would be like if I ever went. I should note here that for the entire trip My camera was with in arms reach but never got turned on. Which is very weird for me.

I remember a control tower right next to the highway. So next to it that part of it was over the sholder. I believe this was somewhere in Ohio but I really have no idea where it is. Coming up to it I had no idea what is was. I thought maybe they used it for monitoring traffic. Then I saw all the planes.
kind of bugged me for a few miles, but it was still cool.

Changed the planned route but did not mark it that well on the map.

I remember being stuck in mourning rush hour traffic in what i thought was the middle of nowhere. Looking down the hill at miles and miles of trafic like I had never seen before. And if all things are right it would end up being very close to where I actually live now. I have given a lot of thoght to that and driven it several times to try to varify. Still cannot be 100% sure but the time frame would be right. So it was slow moving. i notice a car pacing me out of the corner of my eye. Riding right next to me. So I look over and it's a couple of state troopers just starting. In my head I am going off about them. 'if you are going to pull me over just do it, otherwise what the hell are you staring at.' If it were to happen now I would just smile and wave. Give them something to think about.

I remember stopping at a gas station for something to eat. This is the only thing I can actually remember eating on this entire trip. I wanted some of there breaded mushrooms (my grandfather got me hooked on them when I was very young) but they looked like crap. So I got these messy spiced potato slices. I know there is a name for them I just can't rememer it. They were crunchy on the outside and almost liquid inside. But damn they tasted good. They still tatsted good when I was still tasting them when I burped the next day. Felt like bricks on my empty stomach.

When I crossed into Massachusetts, I called to tell Kixxie and AEPB that I was close. She picked up the phone becasue AEPB was either at or on his way to work. I got a lecture about checking in more often. Glad I was still in one piece. I was listening but I was not thinking or hearing to well. Too interested in kicking the gravel in this gas stations parking lot. Ok I am almost there. when I got back in the car I breathed a big sigh of relief.