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empallinall right who wants to live the rock and roll life style? fast cars! cheap drugs! faster and cheaper women! sounds like loads and loads of fun. if you read the papers or watch the news that would seem thats what its all about. its an all day all night non stop party. so this is the part where we work on tearing the myth apart.
fast cars make for a nice picture but look at what the musicians are driving when they actually make it to a show. most of the time its a van of some sort. more often then not its not in the best condition after being driven more miles in a few months then most cars see in a few years. some cars never see those kind of miles. its a mandate of the job - and yes it is a job. it has to be something that can handle the miles and still has room for the equipment and an almost comfortable place to sleep.
some of the luckier might have a trailer to throw the stuff in and have room for more than one person to sleep comfortably. even better is a bus but for that you have to have the money to buy (or rent if you can find a place that will do it) it insure it put gas in it and pay a driver with a cdl who doesnt mind spending months away from his family. just doest seem like there are a whole lot of those around to pick from that would be even halfway reliable. then you have to figure out where you are going to park it during load in/load out. not to mention where to put it during the show. some clubs are not exactly overwhelmed with parking. or security.
it would seem that the solo musicians are the best off since they could get away with driving a station wagon or a hatchback. its less money spent on gas anyway. on the other hand that means there is only one person to do the driving and equipment humping. the fact that no one in there right mind is going to leave that much hardware sitting in a car with that much glass for more than a few seconds at a time just isnt going to help the mental health much. its justified paranoia. think about how many venues are in some of the shittiest areas of town.
comfort has to be a serious consideration. for the time you are on the road this vehicle is you home. when you only have so much time to make it however many hundreds of miles from point a to point b it better be a nice ride. that includes having the room for everything and every one. sure its nice if it has an alarm system. sure its nice if it get good mileage. sure its nice if its in a color other that baby puke green. what would truly rock is if it has drop seats. maybe to just want to pull the rear seats completely. front seats that recline to near level arent such a bad option either.
still you have to have room for everything. you have to have instruments and all the needed hardware that go with them. bass guitar drums stands mics pedals wires wires wires. replacement parts are part of that as well unless you want to spend a good chunk of you sleeping time trying to find what you need in the midst of a city you might not even actually know the name of. sure if the is room you have your back up but something is going to have to be sacrificed somewhere in the packing.
there has to be bedding that you will swear was clean at one point and you will swear it will never come clean again. more often you will swear at it for not being your own bed. not to mention that pillow is no replacement for the person you love. still in the end you will swear by it as a little bit of comfort that held out for through this hell. maybe you want to opt for using you duffle bag as a pillow for the sake of space. thats not too bad except the corners of crap that keep poking you in the head. not to mention the zippers get to damn cold in the winter and too damn hot in the summer. its going to hurt at twice the price when some ever adoring fan decides they want the ultimate souvenir.
at some point you are going to need several changes of clothes. again you could get away with less but that is one more thing to cut into sleep time. only whats needed not what you want. it cant be anything you all that attached to anyway since most of the stuff you leave with is going to end up broken lost or more often then not stolen. you might be able to get something out of the merch pile but thats more money down the drain.
the merchandise is a vital part of the income. not every club actually pays what they promise you. others will nickel and dime you for every little thing. worst are the ones that just flat out disappear before you can discuss getting paid. they know you have another show to get to so you wont be sticking around to fight it out for what you are due. so you count on that pile of shirts cds and such and someone you trust to make sure you actually walk out with at least some money. you get to where you have the math down. so many cds buys so much gas. so many shirts means you get to eat breakfast and lunch.
so there you are stuck in tight quarters with people equipment and everything else tired as all hell and one thing you really want and know everyone else needs is a place to bathe. most clubs barely have public bathrooms you really think they are going to have their act together enough to have a dressing room and showers? a lot of large facilities dont even bother with it. rocking out is not a clean job. so you can do a sponge bath at a rest stop or gas station. you might be able to find a truck stop or camp site that you can talk into letting you use their showers. if money is really good you can get a day rate at a hotel cram in and squeak up real quick.
thats just for starters. then come the fans. sure you like them but you in the end are just doing a job just like everyone else. by this point you are not really in the mood for philosophical debates about lyrics or politics. if you tell some to fuck off by the time its all over you words and the story have been twisted to the point where you almost killed some one. thats how you get the fans that pay the money just to tell you how much you suck for one thing or another. the ones that came just to fight with anyone about anything. it would be nice to say they dont matter but it all reflects back on the band or artist. that in turn affects your bottom line further down the road.
so why go through all of this? sometimes you actually walk away with a little bit of money in your pocket. rare but it does happen. mostly it has to do with name recognition. bands can survive without touring but they sell less units. so you go through hell while half the audience thinks you are an asshole because in the end it is worth it and you are doing what you love. playing music. after all this was you dream.
so where are all of those excess that we all hear so much about. a lot fewer and further between then we have been led to believe. most of these people who you hear about trashing hotels during and what have you have never had to skip rent to pay for one they trashed when they found out their spouse was cheating on them. some are ones that got picked up too young and never had to learn what to really appreciate. they have people who do everything for them so they dont ever have to think about what they do. most of those will have no staying power anyway. look at the ones that put real time and effort in.
----
ok most of this was written from a smaller perspective but most of scales up or down well enough. its all hypothetical because in the end what the hell do i know? and yes i know there are many points i missed but the basics are still there. i just dont feel like cover every single bit. complaints can be sent directly to empallin[at]yahoo{dot}com.
fast cars make for a nice picture but look at what the musicians are driving when they actually make it to a show. most of the time its a van of some sort. more often then not its not in the best condition after being driven more miles in a few months then most cars see in a few years. some cars never see those kind of miles. its a mandate of the job - and yes it is a job. it has to be something that can handle the miles and still has room for the equipment and an almost comfortable place to sleep.
some of the luckier might have a trailer to throw the stuff in and have room for more than one person to sleep comfortably. even better is a bus but for that you have to have the money to buy (or rent if you can find a place that will do it) it insure it put gas in it and pay a driver with a cdl who doesnt mind spending months away from his family. just doest seem like there are a whole lot of those around to pick from that would be even halfway reliable. then you have to figure out where you are going to park it during load in/load out. not to mention where to put it during the show. some clubs are not exactly overwhelmed with parking. or security.
it would seem that the solo musicians are the best off since they could get away with driving a station wagon or a hatchback. its less money spent on gas anyway. on the other hand that means there is only one person to do the driving and equipment humping. the fact that no one in there right mind is going to leave that much hardware sitting in a car with that much glass for more than a few seconds at a time just isnt going to help the mental health much. its justified paranoia. think about how many venues are in some of the shittiest areas of town.
comfort has to be a serious consideration. for the time you are on the road this vehicle is you home. when you only have so much time to make it however many hundreds of miles from point a to point b it better be a nice ride. that includes having the room for everything and every one. sure its nice if it has an alarm system. sure its nice if it get good mileage. sure its nice if its in a color other that baby puke green. what would truly rock is if it has drop seats. maybe to just want to pull the rear seats completely. front seats that recline to near level arent such a bad option either.
still you have to have room for everything. you have to have instruments and all the needed hardware that go with them. bass guitar drums stands mics pedals wires wires wires. replacement parts are part of that as well unless you want to spend a good chunk of you sleeping time trying to find what you need in the midst of a city you might not even actually know the name of. sure if the is room you have your back up but something is going to have to be sacrificed somewhere in the packing.
there has to be bedding that you will swear was clean at one point and you will swear it will never come clean again. more often you will swear at it for not being your own bed. not to mention that pillow is no replacement for the person you love. still in the end you will swear by it as a little bit of comfort that held out for through this hell. maybe you want to opt for using you duffle bag as a pillow for the sake of space. thats not too bad except the corners of crap that keep poking you in the head. not to mention the zippers get to damn cold in the winter and too damn hot in the summer. its going to hurt at twice the price when some ever adoring fan decides they want the ultimate souvenir.
at some point you are going to need several changes of clothes. again you could get away with less but that is one more thing to cut into sleep time. only whats needed not what you want. it cant be anything you all that attached to anyway since most of the stuff you leave with is going to end up broken lost or more often then not stolen. you might be able to get something out of the merch pile but thats more money down the drain.
the merchandise is a vital part of the income. not every club actually pays what they promise you. others will nickel and dime you for every little thing. worst are the ones that just flat out disappear before you can discuss getting paid. they know you have another show to get to so you wont be sticking around to fight it out for what you are due. so you count on that pile of shirts cds and such and someone you trust to make sure you actually walk out with at least some money. you get to where you have the math down. so many cds buys so much gas. so many shirts means you get to eat breakfast and lunch.
so there you are stuck in tight quarters with people equipment and everything else tired as all hell and one thing you really want and know everyone else needs is a place to bathe. most clubs barely have public bathrooms you really think they are going to have their act together enough to have a dressing room and showers? a lot of large facilities dont even bother with it. rocking out is not a clean job. so you can do a sponge bath at a rest stop or gas station. you might be able to find a truck stop or camp site that you can talk into letting you use their showers. if money is really good you can get a day rate at a hotel cram in and squeak up real quick.
thats just for starters. then come the fans. sure you like them but you in the end are just doing a job just like everyone else. by this point you are not really in the mood for philosophical debates about lyrics or politics. if you tell some to fuck off by the time its all over you words and the story have been twisted to the point where you almost killed some one. thats how you get the fans that pay the money just to tell you how much you suck for one thing or another. the ones that came just to fight with anyone about anything. it would be nice to say they dont matter but it all reflects back on the band or artist. that in turn affects your bottom line further down the road.
so why go through all of this? sometimes you actually walk away with a little bit of money in your pocket. rare but it does happen. mostly it has to do with name recognition. bands can survive without touring but they sell less units. so you go through hell while half the audience thinks you are an asshole because in the end it is worth it and you are doing what you love. playing music. after all this was you dream.
so where are all of those excess that we all hear so much about. a lot fewer and further between then we have been led to believe. most of these people who you hear about trashing hotels during and what have you have never had to skip rent to pay for one they trashed when they found out their spouse was cheating on them. some are ones that got picked up too young and never had to learn what to really appreciate. they have people who do everything for them so they dont ever have to think about what they do. most of those will have no staying power anyway. look at the ones that put real time and effort in.
----
ok most of this was written from a smaller perspective but most of scales up or down well enough. its all hypothetical because in the end what the hell do i know? and yes i know there are many points i missed but the basics are still there. i just dont feel like cover every single bit. complaints can be sent directly to empallin[at]yahoo{dot}com.
